Found on the doorstep of a
Tibetan monestary in the hills of Alberta, the Flaming Alberto was raised by a
kindly pack of rabid ferrets. Under their tutelage, he grew to be a great hero
among Albertos, learning the mysterious ways of the ferret: Digging endlessly in
wood chips, running headlong into walls, scuttling left and right with his mouth
open, squeaking hilariously every 3 seconds, and the most important of ALL
ferret skills: Stinkin' up ta' high heaven! With this powerful knowledge under
his belt, the Flaming Alberto set out in 1678 to conquer Sweden! Eventually, he
settled down in a little cottage on the end of the Universe in 1382 to write the
Declaration of Independance. While on his journey to deliver this important
article to the people of Mars, he met a young Dr. X... and the rest... is
history...
